I didn’t even know what tantra was.
In the middle of a career crisis and after a breakup, a friend invited me to a tantra massage seminar. I had no idea what tantra was. Massage sounded nice.
At the seminar I thought: oh God. I noticed how ashamed I was of my body, how little I could feel myself at all, and that I had never really known true touch.
After my first tantra massage I felt as if I had fallen in love again, with life and with myself. And I realised that my womb space felt cut off from me. I had no relationship with it at all.
Instead I knew pain during sex, recurring infections, sexualised abuse in my childhood and a Christian religious upbringing in which sexuality and the body were sources of shame. What I knew about sexuality came from porn, which I re-enacted. I was missing real connection and intimacy, and I lost my desire for sex.
I often thought sex just wasn’t for me. It caused me so much stress, and I had it more because it was part of the relationship than out of my own desire.
Orgasmic Female Body brings together all the elements that helped me find my way back into my beautiful body.